[Editor’s Note: This edited article is reprinted from Vol. 14, No. 10, July 5, 1995.]

In The Name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful.

Marriage, with Allah (God), is sacred and, therefore, anything that interferes with marriage is strictly forbidden and seriously punished by Allah (God).


The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan

Even if the laws of man have become weak in punishing that which is destructive of marriage and family, the consequences of an adulterous generation is the destruction of discipline, order and, ultimately, the motion of a civilized society is stopped by the confusion and bloodshed that erupts with the destruction of marriage, family and nation.


The Sacredness of Marriage
When I visited Al-Haram, the Holiest House of Islam, in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, I was struck by the beauty of the worshippers who do not bring anything forbidden by Allah (God) into the sacred precinct of that Holy Shrine.

When we entered Jeddah, as the port of entry, to begin preparation for the sacred right of Hajj or Pilgrimage, everyone’s bags and person was searched to be sure that nothing forbidden and unsacred would be allowed to enter Saudi Arabia through its general port of entry.

Marriage is the most sacred of all institutions, for it commits a man and a woman to the struggle to become as one. Whenever any individual approaches the married person with desires of adultery, that person has encroached upon that which is sacred. The keeper of the vow, the male and female, must be like a sentry on post to guard against any intrusion into that which is sacred by that which is profane. This lays an important duty on each mate, and that is to forbid the entry into the sacred precincts of marriage anything that is destructive of this institution, even to thoughts, imagery or fantasy of another individual other than the husband or wife. Remember, “as a man (woman) thinketh in his/her heart, so is he/she.”

When the marriage is not going well, the first thought must never be divorce. If the two persons and their advisors (parents, friends, imams, pastors or spiritual advisors) have reached an impasse, then a separation is proper. However, separation is made to give the two persons space and time to reconsider each other and their problems, with the thought toward possible reconciliation.

If the differences are so great after separation and attempt at reconciliation, divorce is then, and only then, a strong consideration. During the time of separation, no one should be allowed to interfere with the process of reconciliation. The married persons must never permit a stranger or anyone into the sacred precincts of their hearts or minds while reconciliation is being attempted.

As long as there is no divorce, the righteous are forbidden to look around and entertain other persons, and anyone who allows themselves to be entertained by married persons who are seeking a divorce or are separated is, in effect, interfering with the possibility of reconciliation. Therefore, these actions are punishable, if not by the law of man, certainly by the Law of Allah (God).

What is a vow? According to Random House Dictionary, a vow is “a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment; a solemn, religiously binding promise made to God or to any deity or saint, as to perform some act, make some offering or gift, or enter into some service or condition. A solemn or earnest declaration to pledge or resolve solemnly to do, to make, to give, to observe, etc.”

When a vow is made, the total focus of our entire being is to carry out our word. It involves an intense desire that feeds our will, which is the essence of the power of our being to fulfill our commitment. Our word and vows should never be taken lightly. Allah (God) does not take our vow lightly. We should never enter into the institution of marriage thinking of a way out. We should enter into marriage totally committed to work out the problems that arise. The success of marriage is not based solely upon the word “love.” The success of marriage is based upon our duty and obligation to each other, which nurtures and strengthens the bond of love.

The Holy Qur’an, as well as the Bible, teaches us that our first duty or obligation is to our Creator. It is He, Allah (God), who created us, and it is He who permits us, in the nature in which He created us, to desire our mates. It is He, Allah (God), who gave us complimentary natures that can only be at peace if these two natures are dutiful to each other. If we are dutiful to our Creator, keeping Him first and foremost in our lives, then our duty to Him becomes the mortar that binds us together in marriage.

In the Holy Qur’an, Surah 4, verse 1, it reads, “O people, keep your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind), and spread from these two many men and women. And keep your duty to Allah, by Whom you demand of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship. Surely Allah is ever a Watcher over you.”

The problem in this world is that duty to Allah (God) is not first and foremost. Therefore, the demands that we make on one another may not necessarily be within the nature of our creation. When we are dutiful to Allah (God), observant of the differences in the nature of the male and female, and the rights that nature makes us demand of one another, then we can attempt to fulfill our duty and obligation. We can attempt to satisfy the demand made on our nature by our mate.

So, it is Allah (God) who has put in our nature a demand. According to Random House Dictionary, a demand is “a request made with authority; to claim as a right” and a right is, “something that someone is entitled to; morally good, just; correct or true.” The Holy Qur’an teaches that the man has rights over the woman, but the woman also has rights over the man. Any demand has to be met or fulfilled in order for a relationship to be maintained. If a demand, whether knowingly or unknowingly, is not met, then there is a consequence.

What is the demand in the nature of a woman? What is the demand of a woman on a man? Since the nature of Allah (God) in the male and female is to submit to the Will of Allah (God), and by submitting to the Will of Allah (God), we are made secure and thus we enter into peace, the nature of the female demands from the male that she be made secure so that she may enter into peace. To be made secure is to be made safe from fear, harm or danger. This does not only mean physical protection, but the mental security of knowing that the bills are paid, the children are being cared for, and that basic needs are being met, spiritually and morally, as well. This makes her secure, and whether she speaks this from her mouth or not is irrelevant because her nature demands this from the man. If the man does not perform according to the demand of her nature, there is a consequence. If we fail in our duty to her, and that which by right she is demanding is not met, then this default in duty begins to erode the bond of love, creating dissatisfaction and increasing argument, which robs the individual and marriage of the spirit of Allah (God).

Love is a deep creative force that is based upon duty and obligation. Allah (God) says in the Holy Qur’an that He loves the dutiful. He loves those who are mindful of their duty, and He says that the best among us is he or she who is most careful of his or her duty to Allah (God). So, it is duty and obligation fulfilled that engenders love and feeds this creative force of love causing it to grow. Love and duty bind us together. It is the failure to live up to our duty that erodes love and begins to dissolve the bond.

This is the way that Allah (God) created our natures to serve each other from the beginning. When a man is in his right state, the demand for consolation, comfort and solace is completed in the female. These aforementioned demands are still present in both man and woman, whether we are in a right state or not.

The Holy Qur’an teaches that the woman is the consoler of the man. What is consolation? It is to ease the man from the pain and burden of the labor that Allah (God) has imposed upon the man. Allah (God) has given man a female whose duty, by nature, is to ease the burden on man, to console, to give peace and quiet of mind, whether he knows that this demand is in his nature or not, if not met, then the power in the creative force of love is eroded, because this demand, duty or right is not fulfilled.

We are cheating on both sides. We are cheating each other of our just due. We are cheating each other of nature’s needs and demands. In the Holy Qur’an, Surah 83, verses 1-3, called, “Default in Duty,” Allah (God) says, “Woe to the cheater! Who, when they take the measure (of their duties) from men, take it fully, And when they measure out to others or weigh out for them, they give less than is due.”

Woe means “disaster, misery and affliction.” This is what married life is today. It is misery, woe and affliction, because we are cheating each other of the demands of our nature. Cheating in marriage. Cheating one another in our duties to one another, and yet demanding fully of our mates.

Man is the maintainer of woman and she is the consoler of man. According to Random House Dictionary, maintain is “to provide for the upkeep or support of; carry the expenses of; to keep in existence or continuance; to preserve; retain; to keep in due condition.” To console is “to alleviate or lessen the grief, sorrow or disappointment of; to give solace or comfort; cheer up.” In the Holy Qur’an, Surah 4, verse 34, it reads, “Men are the maintainers of women, with what Allah has made some of them to excel others and with what they spend out of their wealth. So the good women are obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded.”

The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught me that “the woman is man’s heaven.” However, whatever can give us heaven can surely give us hell, and since most are getting more hell than heaven, this demands that we look at ourselves to see where we are failing in our duty.